12 Pups of Christmas (2019)

14% – Critics
14% – Audience

12 Pups of Christmas Storyline

Martin is building a company producing traceable animal collars, but urgently needs a major new investment by Christmas, when he must present and improved product at a New York meeting. His sister and deputy hires canine therapist Erin, whom he initially just charges with minding a litter of twelve puppies needing new homes, abandoned after a photo shoot. She son proves valuable inspiration to re-design the collars, and drags Martin along to deliver the puppies, mistaking his distance for a gringe aversion of dogs, next he takes her along to sell the product, while forcing her former BFF to poetic penance for stealing her fiance, albeit almost the other way around. They learn to appreciate each-other’s views and qualities, clearing the path for Cupid.—KGF Vissers

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12 Pups of Christmas Movie Reviews

Extraordinarily Bad.

I love Hallmark & Hallmark-esque movies, which should tell you I can tolerate some absolute nonsense, but this has got to be one of the worst movies ever made. Its such a stinker, it makes the average Hallmark movie look like Oscar bait.

The lead actress does actual Joey Tribbiani “smell the fart” acting and the plot has so many holes you could grate cheese with it.

I was so incensed by how bad this movie was, I restarted my IMDB account just to leave this review. Learn from my mistakes and avoid this like the plague.

One star for the dogs, none for anything else

This was abysmal, even for a Hallmark movie. Nothing about it makes sense. Why is a man who’s smooth enough to have six girlfriends too cowardly to break up with one? Why does a rich CEO whose dad is willing to hand him a pile of money at the drop of a hat think he’s in financial danger? Why does a CEO who has a home in Silicon Valley and a penthouse in NYC seem completely unfamiliar with the concept of flying? Why was an entire staff of tech professionals unable to come up with the idea to “make this product smaller”? Why does the lead actress have more chemistry with any woman on screen than with the male lead? Why did the screenwriter think Animal Track is an amazing app name? (At least give me a Pooch Ping or a Critter Getter) Why is there a montage of two people doing literally nothing? Why are people riding jetskis in the Hudson River in December?

Unsympathetic, mean-spirited lead role

I understand that ION Christmas movies can be a little darker and more adult-themed than the typical G-rated Hallmark fare, but this film was too over the top for me.

My main problem is with the lead role. She comes across as snide, condescending, and spiteful throughout them film. While a few of her comments seem to be on-target at first – with her so-called friends well deserving of her scorn – after a while it just becomes boring with the relentless tirade of insults.

But she isn’t the only problem. It was really hard to relate to any of the other supporting characters in this film at all. They all just seemed so trite and phony.

The only good moments are the pitifully few scenes of the puppies being delivered to their new owners. But this takes up hardly any screen time at all. The rest of the film just meanders through relentless scenes of mean-spiritedness and cynicism, where the viewer is jarred by alternating scenes of tenderness and downright hostility.

Eventually, there is some resolution, but it is not convincing and the character remains vindictive almost to the very end. The film just can’t seem to overcome the lead character’s extreme unpleasantness.

Overall, there is air of cruelty and cynicism that pervades, decidedly not what these Holiday-themed should be all about.