Creep Van (2012)

• Year: 2012
• Released: 20 Jul 2012
• Country: United States
• IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1844643/
• Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/creep_van
• Available in: 720p, 1080p,
• Language: English
• MPA Rating: Not Rated
• Genre: Horror
• Runtime: 80 min
• Writer: Jim Bartoo, Ian Michaels, Adam Jahnke
• Director: Scott W. McKinlay
• Cast: Brian Kolodziej, Amy Wehrell, Gerald Emerick

	4.0/10
	10% – Audience

Creep Van Storyline

Forced to team up with a sleazy conman to hunt down and stop the murderous Creep Van, misfit Campbell Jackson finds himself in for one hell of a bloody ride in this spine-chilling horror fest!

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Creep Van Movie Reviews

Nifty and offbeat indie horror item

Down on his luck misfit Campbell Jackson (a fine and likable performance by Brian Kolodzeij) runs afoul of a vicious and mysterious roving psycho (a creepy portrayal by Mike Butler) who drives around in a beat-up old 70’s van. Campbell joins forces with amiable hippie conman Swami Ted (a hilarious and engaging turn by Collin Bernsen) to prevent both himself and his sweet newfound girlfriend Amy (winningly played by the pretty and appealing Amy Wehrell) from becoming the wacko’s next victims. Director Scott W. McKinlay and writer Jim Bartoo concoct a delightfully eccentric and entertaining affair that unfolds at a brisk pace, makes the most out of an amusing sense of quirky humor, delivers the gruesome goods with several inventively nasty murder set pieces, manages to build some tension for the suspenseful climax, and even comes through with a nice smattering of tasty gratuitous female nudity as well as a dab of kinky sex. Moreover, it’s acted with zest by an enthusiastic cast: Kolodzeij and Wehrell display a charming chemistry in the leads, the luscious Veronica Adkinson bitches it up well as the snarky Danni, Gerald Emerick is a riot as Campbell’s hearty boss Mr. Kaufman, Lloyd Kaufman contributes a funny bit as a disgruntled man, and hot blonde Tonya Kay has a stand-out small role as a sassy gal who beats up a jerk mechanic. The surprise bummer ending packs a startling punch. Kudos are also in order for Michael J. Walker’s sharp cinematography, the gnarly practical make-up, and Dennis Dreith’s cool bluesy rock score. An inspired and idiosyncratic hoot.

Another failed horror. zzzz..

Know what I hate about a lot of modern horror films? The fact that so many have good, juicy death scenes… surrounded by acres and acres of pure undiluted s**t. I think you know where I’m going with this. The titular van has windows that’ll decapitate you, seatbelts designed to suffocate and a button on the radio that will send a spike right through your heart. Great.

Until you realise… you have to tolerate unfunny sex jokes, repellent characters, hokey dialogue and BBAADD acting for 95% of the length. No thanks. Also, with all the VHS tapes in the background, and no sign of a laptop anywhere, could this unaccountably be set in the 90’s? If so, I give them apropos. Of Nothing.

Ugh. Stupid film. Go away. 4/10

A Very Different Horror Film

Campbell Jackson (Brian Kolodziej) is a 20-something, unemployed misfit in Detroit. Forced to take a dead-end position at a local car wash, Campbell sees a dilapidated 1970s van for sale… but this is no ordinary van — it is the creep van!

We start the film with a character remarking that “only bad people own vans”. I love that, as I think it is a widely-held sentiment. The featured van here, a Ford Econoline, is popularly known as a “rape van” (or “creep van” in this case). I am glad someone took the idea and ran with it.

Well played to Robert Hall on effects. Almost Human does some great work, and this film is no exception. At one point, we see a person who has lost their face. This is an excellent example of top-notch gore from these guys.

In cameos we have Angelina Armani (Hall’s girlfriend) and Troma legend Lloyd Kaufman. That was a nice touch. The film as a whole has a nice, light-hearted approach to horror that I appreciate, and there is one scene that takes what could have been gratuitous sex and makes it actually entertaining in a non-sexual way.

Great horror film? Maybe not. But they knew what they wanted to do, did not try to go beyond their means, and pulled it off. I would take more films like “Creep Van” over the majority of the horror out there any day.